A lesson on humility

I woke up with on January 19^th, everything about me felt normal, except that any noise made me dizzy.  Hearing a loud noise made me feel like I was spinning and about to pass out for about few seconds, and then I’d snap out of it.  If there were a few noises in a row (like someone talking to me) it would make me dizzy to the point I’d start sweating, my head would start hurting and I would have to sit down.  It's been slowly going away and the duration of it has gotten shorter and shorter, but it's been 2 and a half months!  For the first month I stayed home in my silent apartment all day and I’d forget that anything was wrong until my phone rang or I went to use anything that made a noise (opening the fridge or microwave) The worst was when Dave came home… slamming the door closed, dropping his bag, or talking to me (it all seemed so extreme & loud at the time)… I was miserable.  I had no desire to talk or eat anything crunchy, because hearing myself in my head brought those symptoms. Dave and I just whispered, I had to remind him often, but he did it. I am blessed, with my job I can just work from home in the quiet.  I discovered an online service area, so Dave would text me a project and I could take care of any issues online rather than calling in.  I didn't go to church or even out in public because I couldn’t stand people talking to me and it’s just way too loud everywhere.  After a few weeks I started going outside again with my trusty earplugs and did ok.  I tried to avoid people or I would have to read lips, not really know what people were saying to me half the time, so that was fun. So I am still alive, I'm just flying under the radar for a while.  

My dad had asked some of his ENT buddies and they weren’t sure, but he told me it was something that would probably just go away in a few months.  The pride in me thought that nothing could bring me down for that long, and surely it would go away in a week or so.  But, it didn't.  I finally accepted that and went to a doctor who suspected a bad inner ear infection.  After a week with no improvement I went to an ENT specialist who discovered hearing loss at certain frequencies, gave me vallium and diagnosed me with Menneire's disease.  That involves permanent hearing loss and possibly not being able to fly, plus these random sudden dizziness spells so that was a little scary and unexpected.  The next week I went to a different specialist for a 2^nd opinion and my hearing was back. We had fasted for it to be a misdiagnosis, and our prayers were answered.  The other ENT thought it might be from some kind of fistula (trauma or over exhaustion). He offered me some steriod drops, but could not diagnose anything.  It was definitely a humbling experience for me, having no control over the situation. It was one of those times when I honestly felt that the Savior was the only one who knew how I was feeling.  All I’m praying for now is that it’s nothing permanent and that it never happens again.  I'm writing this on my blog because I don't really like to talk about it, so hopefully this answers anybody's questions.

Dave found this commercial and I could not believe how perfect it was for me. (Only when I watch this can I think about this experience and smile) What I would give to live in a world like that.  I'll be completely honest, for a split second the thought did cross my mind to consider getting this car!